Vet Day weekend Column
Say More Than, "Thank for your service."
This Veterans Day, I want you to do more than just thank a veteran for his or her service.
As a veteran of 28 years, I want to challenge you to go beyond patriotic rhetoric by asking some specific questions of the veterans you encounter.
First, ask us what we did in military service. Don't worry – our stories aren't just about bombs and bullets and boats.
For instance, most of us would love to tell you about how we deployed on more than a few humanitarian missions.
If you ask, we'll tell you about operations like "New Horizon," where we built schools, clinics and playgrounds all over South America.
Some of us can tell you about cleaning up New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, while others will tell you about flying into countries devastated by earthquakes or tsunamis.
Ask us what we did, and we might recollect building runways in the desert, pitching tents in the jungle, setting up communications links in the Australian outback, hot-loading planes and launching satellites that give you the cable TV you enjoy.
Get us talking and we'll tell you about fixing planes, loading planes, flying planes, jumping from planes, fueling planes in flight.
As a chaplain, I can tell you about the blessings I prayed over planes as well as the blessing I had of walking away from one that crashed.
This generation of service members might lose you in their technical talk, but I assure you they are proud to mention the satellites they control, the drones they fly and the cyber warfare in which they engage.
After you ask them about what they did, ask them where they've been.
They'll likely share their version of Johnny Cash's song, "I've Been Everywhere."
They've filled passports doing temporary duty in places like Antigua, Ukraine and Djibouti on the Horn of Africa.
They've flown planes over the North Pole, landed them on the South Pole and navigated submarines under both.
And yes, they've even spent some time in "dark sites" that "don't exist."
They've shivered with their families on assignment in Minot, N.D. and spent a few sweltering years in Fort Huachuca, Arizona.
My family loved the two years they spent in Izmir, Turkey, while other military families enjoyed the island seclusion of Guam or the Azores.
A few lucky ducks will regale you with stories of embassy duty in Paris, London or Madrid.
But if you want to go deep, ask them what it means to have served.
If you listen well and they think you're interested, they just might tell you.
But it's just as likely they won't be able to tell you. It's just as likely that their voice will hitch, their eyes will mist and they'll turn away from that question.
Don't get me wrong. They're proud of the things they've done and they want to share them with you.
But I caution you: There are some things they won't share.
Taking an oath to obey the legal orders of those appointed over them meant that they also did the unimaginable and for some the unspeakable.
I know because they told their chaplain.
They told me about the lives they couldn't save and the lives they had to take. They've shown me their physical wounds and they've bared their moral wounds.
Thankfully, the stories of most servicemembers run the course of everyday life; albeit a life of transfers every two or three years, endless inspections and exercises, family separations and making ends meet on military pay.
It was a life of long ago, but it was life from only yesterday.
Ask us and we'll tell you.
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My latest book is called, "Tell it to the Chaplain." All of my books are available on my website or by sending a check for $20 (per book) to 10566 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Email comments to comment@thechaplain.net or by text or voicemail to (843) 608-9715. See past columns and other books at website www.thechaplain.net.