Chaplain's Column -- March 31 2023

Shutting the Door to Prayer

 

Last week, just as the airplane door shut on my United Airlines flight home from Honduras, a woman stood and began speaking to us in Spanish.

 

I didn't understand her words, but my keen "Chappy sense" made quick interpretation of her intent. Of course, the translation offered by my seatmate helped a lot too.

 

"She wants to say a prayer," said the man who'd introduced himself earlier as a missionary.

 

I know you might expect your chaplain to bow his head and close his eyes. But I wasn't feeling it.

 

There was little about this that felt right. So I glued my eyes wide open, determined not to pray.

 

Why did I take such umbrage?

 

I began arguing back and forth with myself for an answer.

 

To begin with, the exit door was shut. You might say the door was even slammed on her prayer. Safety procedures demanded we remain seated.

 

I considered asking the flight attendant if we should reopen the door and allow the woman to exit feet first down the safety slide.

 

Easy there, Chappy.

 

Doesn't the Bible admonish us to "… pray without ceasing…." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17).

 

OK, but doesn't the Bible also suggest we restrict our prayer to a closet?

 

Paraphrased beautifully in "The Message," Jesus said in Matthew 6:6, "Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage."

 

I wanted to point out, "Yours is no closet prayer, lady. Stay out of the aisle or take it to the lavatory."

 

Bad chaplain. Bad chaplain.

Thinking better of myself, I remained quiet. Perhaps I should accept that folks be allowed to pray when and where they want. Isn't this a first amendment issue?

 

Yes and no. The amendment promises freedom of religion but also implies freedom FROM religion.

 

Still, wasn't her prayer just an effort to comfort folks?

 

Perhaps, but to me this felt like yelling fire in a crowded theater as it made me painfully aware of my mortality. I was in a hard-landing crash on my return from Iraq in 2009, and her prayer wasn't helping me.

 

My kindest interpretation of her public prayer was that it was cultural, her tradition. I'd heard a similar fervor when the PTA president fired up the Chispa library inauguration with an evangelical prayer. No one batted an eyelash at her impassioned prayer.

 

Still, I felt put upon. I mean, how would she have felt if a man laid out a prayer rug and knelt to say a prayer to Allah. Tradition or not, that might get you tackled on some planes.

 

If I felt put upon by this no-choice prayer, I wondered if this was how non-religious people felt when overexposed to religion.

 

Do they hear disrespect? Do they feel put down or put upon? Do they detect a hint of superiority? Is public prayer religious entrapment?

 

Asking myself these questions on a regular basis reminds me to be more considerate when expressing religious sentiment toward other people. If I don't know them, I must consider the impact of telling them, "I'm praying for you," or "God Bless you."

 

These questions remind me of the highest of all biblical admonishments, the "Golden Rule" of Luke 6:31: Do unto others as you would like them to do to you.

 

With all my wondering whether this was the right time and place for a prayer, my surrounding seat mates seemed unfazed, happy to close their eyes and end the prayer with a hardy amen.

 

So much for my Chappy sense.

 

Write to tell me how you might have felt in this situation at Comment@thechaplain.net.

 

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If you're given to praying, please pray that we meet the funding goal of this library for $25K.  Donate at www.chispaproject.org/chaplain. Or write checks to "Chispa Project" and send to Norris at 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Read past columns at www.thechaplain.net. Contact Norris at his voicemail (843) 608-9715.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chaplain's Column -- March 24 2023

Photos for this column available on request

A Father's Questions

 

Have you ever witnessed a reluctant child standing outside an open kindergarten door? The child's arms are wrapped around the legs of a parent, not wanting to cross the threshold of learning.

 

If so, you'll know the point of view I enjoyed last week from inside Chispa Project's newly established school library in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

 

It was Inauguration Day and the freshly painted library pulsed with enthusiasm. Latin music wafted through the walls, providing a rhythmic soundtrack for the kids already inside perusing their new books. 

 

Yet amidst the excitement of bright, welcoming posters and new shelves, one child stood still in the doorway, as if overwhelmed by the sensory cacophony.  

 

The father/son duo shaded the library's threshold. Inside, the kindergartners were bouncing like kangaroos on new beanbags decorated with the Chispa logo.

 

Overstuffed library shelves may have seemed daunting with their 2,072 books. I know this precise number of books because I was among the Chispa staff and U.S. volunteers who had counted, cataloged and shelved them onto racks we assembled and painted. 

 

Joseph's father shared his son's saucer eyes. Both seemed frozen in disbelief. The colorful, energetic room seemed a concept too revolutionary to grasp, because school libraries are so rare. Most Hondurans only know school libraries as a place where books are jealously lent out from inside caged stacks. Finding a commonplace children's picture book, like "Cat in the Hat," can be near impossible.

 

No one inside the new library paid Joseph any mind, not even his twin brother Jefferson, whose attention was captivated by a special puppet show. Crouched behind a shelf, the puppeteer explained library rules through the big-mouth exaggeration of a Muppet-lookalike named Lucia.

 

Joseph hugged his daddy's leg a little tighter, unsure of the talking muppet. Dad dropped to Joe's eye level, offering whispered advice. He pointed. Still, no matter the pleading, bribing and encouragement, Joseph stood fast.

 

That's when I waved a bright cushion to draw the attention of them both. I plopped it onto the floor and pointed to a spot saved just for him. I repeated the mime a few times, until Joseph's father was able to nudge him toward the waiting cushion.

 

The boy took a seat among 28 other kindergartners. Unyielding to my smile, he maintained a guarded arm's length.

 

I had little idea what the boy was thinking, but as I watched his father linger another five minutes in the doorway, I had a pretty good idea what Dad was feeling.

 

He was scared.

 

Scared he might lose Joseph. School, after all, is where Joseph and his brother would learn independence — how to live apart from their dad and mom.

 

The father in the doorway was likely asking himself questions such as, "Will my boys learn something today that will help them go farther than I have gone? Will they thrive, will they lead, will they come to know themselves?"

 

Perhaps even more important, would Joseph and his twin learn to ask better questions than he was now asking himself?

 

These are questions I asked myself as I stood at the kindergarten door of my first born, Sara. I replayed the questions as she walked the jetway for her first trip to Honduras in 2011.

 

Since Sara founded Chispa Project, it has brought 78 libraries to Honduran schools as well as 50,000 new books. She assuaged my fears, made her choices, and led others to help  the children of Honduras.

 

In the meantime, you needn't worry about Joseph. As the puppet show progressed, Joseph soon joined in the laughter and fun of his new library.

 

A few hours later in a different classroom, he even made a new friend - a cute girl named Carmen.

 

But don't you worry, Joe's dad. With his imagination now sparked by the books in his new library, he will likely need your help in making many other decisions. 

 

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While the library at the República de Alemania School in the capital of Tegucigalpa is now established, it is not yet fully funded. Please consider a donation today at www.chispaproject.org/chaplain. 

Write checks to "Chispa Project" and send to Norris at 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Read past columns at www.thechaplain.net. Contact Norris at comment@thechaplain.net or via voicemail (843) 608-9715.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chaplain's Column -- March 17 2023

 

Don't Give Damn Advice

 

Have you ever been tempted to respond to unwanted advice with your best Rhett Butler's impression and say, "Frankly my dear…."

 

I'm sure you have. It's a common response when we are the victim of hit-and-run advice giving. It's a way of telling the opinionated busybody that they've not earned the right to be relevant in our lives.

 

I was on the damning end of such a response one afternoon some years back as I began my first job in hospital chaplaincy.

 

A nurse in our hospital's surgical unit motioned me into the nurse's station.

 

Wanting to help her new chaplain, she pointed toward a patient's room at the end of the hall. "I think she could use a visit from you."

 

Grateful for the referral, I asked the nurse to tell me more.

 

The nurse pulled me into her personal space and whispered, "Our patient's waiting for her tests to come back."

 

"Maybe I should wait for the tests before I visit," I said.

 

Her words were tight as she shook her head. "Our patient knows she has cancer, but she doesn't know how bad it is. She won't be alive this time next year."

 

We both took a last look at our shoes before she dismissed me with her repeated warning. "Be careful, chaplain, she doesn't know anything yet."

 

A moment later, I walked into the darkened room to find a vibrant young woman who was just then awakening from a nap.

 

"Are you the doctor?" she asked.

 

"No. I'm the chaplain," I said.

 

"God is good," she said.

 

"God is good all the time!" I responded, giving the expected rejoinder of her religous tradition.

 

For a few minutes, we exchanged more platitudes of faith, but soon she admitted her disappointment. "I was hoping you were the doctor bringing my test results."

 

"I understand," I told her. "Waiting is hard."

 

She nodded in agreement while wiping the trace of a tear.

 

I listened as she told the story of her sudden cancer diagnosis. "I know things are going to be all right. I know God will heal me."

 

"Tell me why you think that is?" I gently asked.

 

"Well," she said, her voice trailed. For a moment it seemed as if she was studying my hospital ID for my qualification to question God.

 

"You got to have faith, right?"

 

I must have responded with some kind of "yes-but" answer because she started pleading.

 

"I have so much yet to do," she added.

 

I decided to press her a bit. Hoping to challenge her to see what was happening.

"What if you get bad news?"

 

"Like what?" she asked.

 

I paused. She knew what I meant.

 

And she knew I knew.

 

"You need to leave," she commanded.

 

"But…"

 

"Leave!" she said. "I thought chaplains were supposed to cheer people up, not bring them down."

 

She was wrong about chaplains cheering people up. We aren't cheerleaders.

 

But she was right to go full Rhett Butler on me. I'd tried to write myself into her spiritual script without first earning the right to be relevant.

 

It's easy to make declarations to people, pronouncing what they should do, predicting where or why they will fail.

 

However, as I learned that day, our knowledge doesn't always entitle us to tell them. If we hope to have any consequence in the lives of those we love, we must step only where invited.

 

Otherwise, they will surely never "give a damn."

 

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Norris is in Honduras this week helping Chispa Project establish libraries in elementary schools. Join us on our next trip June 17 – 24 with a special emphasis for educators and librarians. Details at https://www.chispaproject.org/volunteertrip.

 

Write to Norris at 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Read past columns at www.thechaplain.net. Contact him at comment@thechaplain.net or via voicemail (843) 608-9715.

 

 

 

 

 

Chaplain's Column -- March 10 2023

 

Sharing Faith is No Easy Gig

 

"Is it true you can't pray in Jesus' name or even share your faith?"

 

These are questions I've answered many times from "concerned Christians"

during my 28 years as an Air Force chaplain.

 

The first one is not true. The second, well, that depends on where and how you "share your faith."

 

Military members who are deployed in a combat zone live under "General Order No. 1." The order not only forbids alcohol and sex, it's also pretty clear about proselytizing.

 

The military sees "witnessing," or proselytizing, to be very risky in a war zone.

 

Case in point is a well-meaning church that sent Afghan-language Bibles to a parishioner stationed at Bagram Air Force Base in 2009. The church intended for their member to give these Bibles to as many Afghanis as possible. 

 

Chaplains confiscated the Bibles saying that distributing religious literature to convert the local population was in violation of General Order 1. So the Defense Department ordered that the Afghan-language Bibles be burned with the daily trash.

 

Simply put, the logic was that if Afghans perceived that the U.S. government was trying to convert Muslims, we might have the Crusades all over again. People might die.

 

The chaplains who supervised the burning of the Bibles taught everyone involved an important lesson: Sharing your faith isn't an easy gig.

 

While you're not likely a military member, the regulation may be a yardstick for church members wishing to share their faith at work or in the community.

 

First, sharing your faith requires an understanding of your audience. That means we must show empathy toward the listener.

 

The second thing is the hardest one. We can't assume that we know what's best for someone else. This means avoiding the temptation to join the Saturday Night Live "Church Lady" in her Superior Dance.

 

Having grown up as a fundamentalist, I know something about the Superior Dance and the overly fervent sharing of faith. After all, as a high schooler, I delivered plenty of Bibles to the unsuspecting neighbors who surrounded my church.

 

Along with the gift, I fired the question: "If you were to die tonight, do you know if you'd be in heaven or hell?"

 

Can you imagine being asked this question by a pimply faced youth before you'd even had your coffee? Not much empathy there.

 

Sharing literature, such as a Bible, can be a true expression of faith. However, if done glibly and without humility, it becomes a way to overlook hurting people.

 

Faith is best discovered when we allow folks to see it for themselves.

 

To communicate our faith story in genuine ways, we needn't carry pounds of religious literature to persuade others of our beliefs.

 

We need to bring our authentic selves into the picture and be the light Jesus said we could become.

 

Today I fly to Honduras as a demonstration of my faith. While your chaplain will carry a Bible, he didn't bring any for mass distribution.

 

Instead, I'm packing nearly 300 pounds of Spanish children's books to help Chispa Project establish a library for 1,000 kids, kindergarten through ninth grade. We hope these books will go a long way toward satisfying the voracious appetite these kids have for learning.

 

As they learn, they will become curious about faith, and I hope to be privileged to answer their questions.

 

Inevitably their parents ask me why we are doing this. The answer is easy.

 

It's an expression of my faith.

 

Because, whether going door-to-door or just chatting with a neighbor, Theodore Roosevelt gave us the best formula yet for sharing our faith when he said, "Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care."

 

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Honestly, we are making this trip in faith because we still need another $9000 to make this library work. If you can help, please give at the website: www.chispaproject.org/chaplain  

Or, write a check to "Chispa Project" and send to 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Read past columns at www.thechaplain.net. Contact him at at acomment@thechaplain.net or voicemail (843) 608-9715