Syndicated column for first weekend in Dec 2023

New photo for column

 

 

Taken by Elias Funez of The Union, Grass Valley CA.

Syndicated column for first weekend in Dec 2023

What Is Your Reason for Giving This Season?

 

This is the time of year that many of us consider our charitable-donation budget. But as we decide how much to give, perhaps we also ought to calculate why we give.

 

In his list called "Eight Degrees of Charity," the 13th century Rabbi Moses Maimonides offers wise council for weighing our motives.

 

I've mentioned his list a few times in this column, but like Dicken's "Christmas Carol," the list inspires me each time I revisit it.  The unabridged catalogue can be found on my website, but since it has many nuances, allow me this paraphrased summary.

 

Maimonides describes his list as a ladder, so let's begin at the bottom rung, the lowest form of charity.

 

8. Sometimes we give only because we are uncomfortable with our wealth.

 

This sentiment is aptly described by Tibetan Buddhist Trungpa Rinpoche as "Idiot compassion." You can see it in the actions of retirees like me who did this during the pandemic. As our savings bulged with stimulus checks and investment returns, we started giving to the local foodbank.

 

No judgment here. I think Maimonides would say that most charity is good charity.

 

Still, it's hard to sort our good motives from our lesser ones. That's why the rabbi encouraged us to work our way up the ladder.

 

7. Let us give cheerfully but not too much.

 

We do this by dropping a few bucks in the Salvation Army kettle or the church offering. We smile generously, but we know it's woefully inadequate.

 

6. Just ask me and I'll donate.

 

Generous, yes. But why must we be asked first?

 

In Honduras, as in many Latin countries, people of all income levels will carry charity money to give to those who ask. The San Francisco company GoFundMe began with the premise of giving to those who ask. The tragic drama in many requests inspires us to give. In 2021 they generated $22.6M in revenue.

 

5. Let's give without being asked.

 

This sounds like a clean motive but it's low on the ladder because the giver may be doing it to gain attention. On one hand, it's the kind of giving we might do when we say we pick up the dinner check. On the positive side, it's the kind of giving we do when a neighbor needs our assistance.

 

4. We should give to those we don't know, but they should know who we are.

 

A lot of us achieve this when we give to the homeless woman at the intersection. It's a kind act, but there's no way to avoid making the recipient feel less-than.

 

3. I like to give anonymously but I need to know who's getting it.

 

This may seem like a high form of giving, but not quite. Maimonides cautions that since "subconsciously, the giver might gain a pleasure and a sense of power over the recipient, this detracts from his act."

 

2. I like to give anonymously and don't want anyone to know

 

This one is tricky, but the best modern-day example is the Salvation Army Kettle. Your donation helps the poor, but you will never know who they are, and they will never know who you are. You have no say in where the money goes and cannot take it back.

 

And the highest degree of charity motive on Maimonides list is…

 

1.Let's form a business partnership with the poor. 

 

"What?" you ask. "Business is not charity!"

 

The rabbi considered this the highest charitable form because it "strengthens the hand of the poor through either a gift or an interest-free loan." Surprisingly, Maimonides considered the loan better than an outright gift "since the poor are not shamed."

 

This charity is best illustrated in the saying, "Give a person a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime."

 

It's this charitable approach that has inspired me to proudly promote Chispa Project in this column for the past eight years.

 

Chispa establishes libraries in Honduran elementary schools with the help of Honduran teachers, parents and students who will organize, plan and monitor the libraries.

 

Each Honduran community is asked to raise a symbolic portion of the costs (less than 4% of the total project). In this way Maimonides highest principle is applied and the schools establish ownership, pride, and better sustainability of the library.

 

"Pure" charity is about improving the lives of others, not our own. Yet still I think even Maimonides would have to admit that sometimes we need to do something to feel better. Regardless of our motive, someone is helped.

 

In any case none of us have a pure heart, so thankfully most charities are able to help those in need regardless of our motive to give.

 

Maimonides' full writing is available at https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/maimonides-ladder-of-tzedakah/

 

If you will start a monthly donation to Chispa or give a onetime donation of more than $100, I will send you a free book from the list at www.thechaplain.net

 

Make checks to "Chispa Project' and send to 10556 Combie Rd Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Comments received at same address or by email comment@thechaplain.net or at (843) 608-9715.

 

 

After Thanksgiving Syndicated spirituality column

 

Talks, Walks, and Squawks

 

 

During the 22 years of writing this column, my favorite part is connecting with readers through personal visits, speaking tours, letters, and emails.

 

This year I've been to a half dozen venues where I employ something I call my "Phil Donohue schtick." With permission of my host, I begin my "pre-show" - roaming the floor with my microphone asking the arriving guests what they want to know about the column.

 

While I think I've shared my entire life in this column, I still hear you say that I've left a few questions unanswered. So, this week, I ask that you'll allow me a moment of shameless self-promotion to tie up the loose ends from past columns.

 

To start with, some audience members are surprised to find out that I don't live locally, because you've seen me locally.

 

While I may not live nearby, I've likely spoken in your town.

 

For instance, I've stretched my Baptist roots to share with Florida churches of multiple denominations on Melbourne's Space Coast and then crossed the state to speak in Lakeland as well as the Southwest coast in Ft Myers.

 

My age difference before a college audience makes me a bit nervous, but I met the challenge as I delivered seasoned inspiration in Springfield, MO, Staunton VA, Charleston SC, and Riverside CA. 

 

In between my New York speaking gigs in Binghamton, Elmira, and Horseheads I've explored Watkins Glen, the Finger Lakes and the thrilling waterfalls of Letchworth. Yet, it was speaking amongst the pine trees of Mountain Home AR that reminded me most of home.

 

If you're reading in places where I've not yet shared, like Lafayette IN, Montgomery AL or in the California cities of Vacaville, Elk Grove, and Auburn, I would love to make an appearance there too.

 

In all these places, long-time readers ask me about the aftermath of our downsizing moment in 2017 when we sold our home to live internationally. The short answer is we had a great time in Belgium, England, and Canada.

 

The three months we spent sharing my daughter, Sara's 2-bedroom apartment in Honduras, marked the longest continuous period we'd spent with her since she left for college graduation.

 

Perhaps it was that stint that made us return and settle in our current home in the foothills of Northern California. Who knew Sara's spare bedroom could double as a crash pad for our midlife crisis intervention?

 

Secondly, I'm most often asked about Honduras, where Sara founded Chispa Project to establish children's libraries.  It started off with just a motorcycle and a backpack of books – one of which my wife so bravely rode all those years ago.

 

Since then, Chispa has distributed over 57,000 books, yet it continues to operate at the grassroots level with support from Honduran and international volunteers who sustain their programs. Thank you to the readers who have sent hundreds of donations through the years, and especially to those who have joined us on a volunteer trip to install libraries.

 

With the Honduran school year starting in February 2024, Chispa will be returning to some of the oldest libraries to make sure their programs are still being sustained.  This is no small feat, and that's why I won't be shy.

Yes -groan- the chaplain is getting ready to pass the offering plate, but I won't ask you to consider anything I haven't done. Seize the chance to be a change-maker by joining forces with my wife and me as monthly donors.

 

A mere $25 each month gifts a kid with a library of wonders. Ready to make your mark? Sign up at chispaproject.org/nextchapter, or send check made out to Chispa Project to the address below.

 

The question that most surprises me is, "Why aren't you in my paper anymore?"

 

I should be. But if I'm not in the print version, then check your weekend online edition. As newspapers continue to adapt to technology, your best bet is to sign up for my weekly missive at www.thechaplain.net/newsletter. 

 

Questions asked and answered.

 

Now, what else have you been wondering about?

 

 

You can get any of my books for free when you start a monthly donation to Chispa or give a onetime donation of more than $100. Make checks to Chispa Project and send to 10556 Combie Rd Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Comments received at same address or by email comment@thechaplain.net or at (843) 608-9715.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Column before Thanksgiving 2023

Note to readers:

 

If you met my friend Susan Sparks, you'd immediately note our similarities. We have both written a syndicated spirituality column and we are both Baptist pastors.

 

However, as a trial lawyer-turned-stand-up-comedian-and-Baptist-minister, she speaks in a unique voice. And that's why I've asked her to pen this guest column for us as we prepare our homes for Thanksgiving. Enjoy.

 

 

The Holiday is Pronounced THANKSgiving

 

 

It's hard for me to believe that New York City (where I now live) is part of the same country as North Carolina (where I was born). Everything is different: food, clothing, the pace at which people walk and the accents. Oh, the accents. 

 

I don't mean any disrespect, but New York accents are just wrong—meaning they fall in the wrong place.

 

For example, in the south the object one holds over one's head in a rainstorm is pronounced, "UM-brella." New Yorkers talk about some foreign object called an "um-BREL-la." 

 

The southern word for the flat screen on your wall that allows you to binge on Netflix is "TEE-vee." New Yorkers use some alien multi-syllable conglomeration of "television." 

 

Some may see this to be a meaningless linguistic tussle. However, when you consider the word describing this week's national holiday, you realize that there is more at stake than you may think.

 

Unlike New Yorkers who say, "ThanksGIVING," Southerners call this holiday "THANKS-giving." Why? Because that's what the holiday is about. THANKS. Not giving. 

 

The thanks must come first because you can't truly give FROM the heart, unless you have gratitude IN your heart. It's as 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, "God loves a cheerful giver."

 

This is an important lesson as we begin this holiday season. While loving, joyful giving should be the focus of the coming weeks, giving usually turns into an exhausting act of duty. Like the conviction that you have to make two potato dishes—sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes—for the holiday dinner. Or the belief that you must fight the Black Friday crowds to get a generic scarf and mitten set for a great aunt twice-removed because she sent you a Whitman's Sampler. 

 

This is not joyful giving. This is giving cause you gotta. And this type of giving rarely produces anything heartfelt. What it does produce is heartburn. It also generates stress, resentment and, the worse of all things, the martyr syndrome. 

To break from this pattern, we must put the emphasis on the "THANKS"—in the word for the holiday and in our lives. And the best way to do that is to ask yourself the following question: 

 

What is good in my life? 

 

When you focus on what you have, even if it's the tiniest of things, you begin to feel gratitude. Then slowly, you start to see past the angst and realize that you are surrounded by blessings.

 

Maybe you woke up feeling physically stronger than usual. If so, find someone who needs physical help crossing the street or carrying groceries. 

Perhaps you have a plant blooming in your house. Take a photo and send it to someone whose heart is not blooming.

Or maybe you are one of the lucky people with the biggest of blessings: a job. (And please understand, I didn't say a job you love. I mean a J-O-B with a C-H-E-C-K.) If that's your blessing, then remember those who don't have a job this holiday. Volunteer to serve a meal or maybe pay for someone's . 

In the coming week, as you make your multiple potato dishes and shop in the Black Friday chaos, raise thanks for what is good in your life, then share that blessing with joy. Give with a grateful, not grudging, heart. 

 

Put the emphasis where it belongs. And remember, as we do in the South, that the holiday is pronounced THANKSgiving!

 

———————————————-

 

 

Rev. Susan Sparks is the senior pastor of Madison Avenue Baptist Church in New York City. The author of Laugh Your Way to Grace and Preaching Punchlines, Susan is a nationally known speaker on the healing power of humor. Contact her through her email at revssparks@gmail.com, or her website, www.SusanSparks.com.

 

 

Vet Day Syndicated spirituality column

 

 

Military Spouses Also 'Volunteer'

 

This Veteran's Day I'd like to challenge you to spread your thanks-for-serving sentiment toward the spouse of a veteran.

 

That's because each year, I can't help but think of the day in 2008 when I brought a documentary home for my wife, Becky.

 

My wife doesn't especially care for documentaries, particularly the news this one brought. "Baghdad ER" is a documentary that HBO.com says "captures the humanity, hardships and heroism of the U.S. military and medical personnel of the 86th Combat Support Hospital . . ."

 

"I want us to watch this movie together," I said.

 

There was nothing subtle in my approach. Becky saw that I was carrying some news of my own. Before she could respond, I answered the question I read on her face.

 

"The Air Force needs a chaplain volunteer for their hospital at Balad Air Base in Iraq. The hospital is specifically requesting a 'hospital-trained chaplain' for a four-month deployment."

 

I hurried to add: "It's a Level I trauma center, which does over 1,200 surgical procedures each month. They help everyone — military, civilians and contractors as well as Iraqi soldiers, police, civilians and even detainees."

 

She stared into me, stuck on one word: "volunteer."

 

The thoughts of the military spouse upon hearing the word "volunteer" aren't normally as altruistic as those of the military member.

 

Who could blame her if she suddenly exclaimed, "What makes you think I'm not the volunteer here? I would be volunteering for four months of solo parenting! I'll be volunteering to be single for four months!"

 

Instead, Becky simply said, "We'll watch it after dinner."

 

Afterward, we talked about the mutual meaning of the word "volunteer." We talked about everything from kids to car problems.

 

We talked about updating our wills. I tried to soothe her with the fact that there hasn't been a chaplain killed in the line of duty since the Vietnam War.

 

Not surprisingly, she found that factoid devoid of comfort.

I told her the pay would be great — especially with hazardous duty pay.

 

Again, I got nowhere, not even when I mentioned the extra $3.33 per day separation pay.

 

"Why do you want to do this?" she asked.

 

Ah, the "why" of a thing.

 

"If I retired, I wouldn't have to go." I said giving a commonly offered solution in the conflict between military members and their spouses.

 

She wasn't biting.

 

"Why?" she repeated. "Why do you want to go?"

 

"I want to go because I want to help," I said, unable to state it more profoundly than that. "They need hospital chaplains. I'm one. I can't sit here while they declare they need someone. It's a need I know how to fill."

 

After nearly a week of discussion, she said, "You need to go. You need to feel you've done your share. I understand."

 

It was at that point I composed my e-mail accepting the assignment.

 

I called her to the computer and let her proofread the e-mail.

 

Then I asked her to do a difficult thing.

 

"I want us to share this decision. Would you be willing to press the 'send' button?"

 

Her index finger hovered over the keyboard in hesitation. Then, she clicked "send" with a definitive push.

 

She did understand.

 

So this month, I have a favor to ask. As you offer a grateful handshake to a veteran, turn to the spouse and say, "Thanks for your understanding."

 

After all, most of them have certainly done more than they ever "volunteered" to do.

 

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This column is an abridged chapter from my book "Hero's Highway."  Buy all my books, including my latest book, "Tell It to the Chaplain" on my website, Amazon or by sending me $20. Send comments to comment@thechaplain.net. Leave recorded comments at (843) 608-9715 or write to 10556 Combie Rd Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.