Jan 24-26 2025 column

What's it To You?

I first met Bill at Baylor University. He was a fellow ministerial student who imprinted his fraternity shirt with a mock Latin phrase, "Quid tibi est?" 

In 1978, Google was still a long way off, so my fellow pledges asked him to translate it. 

 "What's it to you?" he asked with some defiance.

"Oh, come on," we implored, "Just tell us what it means."

Regarding us as lowly plebes, he weighted his last two words, "What's it TO YOU?" 

The puzzle game went on a few minutes until we heard the literal translation – "What's-it-to-you?"

Game, set match. He had us.

But, I just shrugged it off becasue I'd dealt with folks like him in my past who were sanctimonious, always a self proclaimed expert who never offered any level ground to those of us who were searching. 

 

One of my earliest such encounters was a church youth group leader named Sherry.

She always flashed bright smile before she pitched her loaded question, "Have you received the gift of the Holy Spirit?"

 

The question is a fallacious one, much like the one "Have you stopped beating your wife?"

 

It was impossible to give Sherry a good answer. If I said, "Yes, I'm full of the spirit," she'd lay out her Bible like a religious yardstick to determine if my holy spirit measured up to hers.

 

If I said "No," I confirmed her first impression that I wasn't a good Christian.

 

Worse yet, a "no" answer brought the worst question, "Do you want to speak in tongues?"

 

This question was a reference to the ecstatic and unintelligible language spoken by thousands of people in charismatic churches. But, no, I wasn't ready for that one.

 

I bring up the examples of Bill and Sherrie because I suspect that some of you have been turned off religion by people like them. If so, you're the victim of the loaded questions fired by the pious church goers into innocent bystanders.

 

These inquisitors are trying to reduce your spirituality to some kind of test that only they can pass with questions such as: "Don't you believe in Jesus? Don't you want the spirit in your life?" or "If you were to die tonight, did you know you'll go to hell?"

 

How do you answer questions like that from folks like this?

 

Fellow columnist Carolyn Hax suggests that we regard people's "nutritional label" and ask if they are worth the time. If not, she says, "Friends with a low decency content need to be treated as junk food." 

 

I think this is true in our efforts to find a spiritual community too. Some people and places are just gonna be junk food, but we can also find quality people when we make the effort to look for them.

 

At the end of the day, spiritual junk food doesn't "fill" you any more than this woman's version of the "holy" spirit. You only encounter God through a spiritual relationship. And like all relationships, you ask questions, you must dialogue, you can even lose your temper, but you will also learn to laugh at yourself and forgive others.

 

In the meantime, to all you who've had someone discourage you from involvement with the local church, I leave with the strategy suggested in one more psudo-Latin phrase, "Illegitimi non carborundum."

 

The humorous phrase originated as an informal motto in the British Armed Forces.

It roughly means, "Don't let the idiots get you down," but if you Google it you'll find a more colorful version mock-Latin aphorism that is best left out of this family newspaper.

 

—————————————-

 

Sign up to receive this weekly column in your email box at https://thechaplain.net/newsletter/ or send me your email address to comment@thechaplain.net. 

 

All of my books can be ordered on Amazon. Autographed copies can be obtained on my website www.thechaplain.net or by sending a check for $20 for each book to 10566 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.

 

 

 

 

 

Jan 17-21 2025

A Misspelling Affirms Best Spiritual Care

Lisa Nordlander was really the best boss I ever had. When she hired me from the active-duty Air Force, she encouraged me to put aside my Baptist identity and focus on affirming the unique spiritual needs of each patient.

I was so thrilled to go to work for her at Sutter Medical Center in Sacramento that I failed to notice the typo printed on my Spiritual Care ID badge.

It took more than a year, but in 2003, a patient noticed that the word Spiritual was missing two letters – "R-I."

The patient cupped a hand over her mouth and nose and said, "I probably shouldn't get any closer if you're from the "SPIT-ual Care Department." 

After we shared a good laugh, I skedaddled downstairs to have HR (Human Resources) correct the badge. 

Little did I know that twelve years later, the identifier "Spit-ual Care" might be appropriate for my new position as a staff chaplain at St. Joseph's Medical Center in Stockton CA. 

One summer day I entered the room of a patient recovering from minor surgery. The man didn't speak English, but his wife and granddaughter did. After introductions, I learned that the wife was also a shaman.

Shamans are spiritual leaders and healers in the earth-based spirituality of southeast Asia. So, with careful exploration, I asked what I might do to facilitate their faith traditions. 

"My grandmother wants to conduct a Hmong ritual." 

"Can you say more?" I asked.

"The rite involves my grandmother putting water in her mouth and spewing it on my grandfather's surgical site," the granddaughter said with little emotion.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said. "Let me ask the nurse how we can do that."

I dismissed myself and ducked into the nurses' break room to Google some understanding of the request.

My search told me that the patient's wife was likely blaming "misplaced energy" for precipitating her husband's illness. She needed the water to perform an "extraction" that would remove the displaced energy that had invaded his body.

I slid my phone back in my pocket and stopped at the nurses' station for a consult.

"Can she spit water on the wound without risking an infection?" I asked the startled charge nurse. 

She thought for a minute and replied, "Yes. The surgical site is stitched and closed. Just use bottled water."

With that permission, I returned to the room and handed over the sterile water I'd picked up from the nurse. 

The patient's wife opened the bottle, held it to her lips and sloshed the water around in her mouth. Then she tilted her head and – "Plah!" – she spat a mouthful on her husband. 

I tried hard not to show scepticism by allowing my "inner Baptist preacher" to run amuck. 

I mean, what just happened? I saw no evil spirits come out of the man and there was no instant healing of the wound. I felt uneasy that this family was relying on such archaic beliefs amidst such modern medicine.

As simply as the shaman had begun, she concluded. I was thanked for intervening with nursing staff and given a dismissive nod.

I returned to my office cubicle where I sat wondering what I would write in this patient's chart. I wasn't entirely sure what I'd accomplished. 

However, as much as anything, good spiritual care had been merged into the Hippocratic Oath – "First, do no harm." I had not ridiculed the woman or passed judgment on her request. I had not put up barriers or implied that she was inconveniencing the staff.

But more concretely, I noted an observable change in contentedness within the family. Reverence for their request had helped build a sacred, nonjudgmental space for worship. 

Amid medical uncertainty, the family rekindled and celebrated their own truths. The ritual helped them navigate the harsh maze of medicine and restored meaning to their world. 

And that's what I charted. 

I was left with only one more thing to consider.

How would my new employer respond if I asked them to change my badge ID to read "Spit-ual Care?"

--------------------------------------------

 

Sign up to receive this weekly column in your email box at https://thechaplain.net/newsletter/ or send me your email address to comment@thechaplain.net.  

This column excerpted from my book, "Tell it to the Chaplain." All of my books can be ordered on Amazon, but autographed copies can be obtained on my website www.thechaplain.net or by sending a check for $15 each + $10 shipping to 10566 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.

 

 

 

 

Jan 10-12 2025

Nothing, Yet Everything

 

In last week's column, I described in detail what it's like to go on a volunteer trip with Chispa Project, the charity founded by my daughter Sara, to start children's libraries in Honduran elementary schools.

 

When people ask me why they should volunteer or donate, I will often tell them about Justin, one of the earliest beneficiaries of Chispa. 

 

I first met Justin in 2018 when he was a 12-year-old student at Southwest Bilingual School in the mountains outside La Esperanza, Honduras. Back then, the charity consisted of my daughter, her assistant and the volunteer trips made by my wife and me. The manpower was far less than the 7 employees Chispa has today and the dozens of volunteers that come each year.

 

Every weekday, Justin and several of his classmates rode 5 miles on a school bus through twisted and rutted dirt roads. The only thing that sometimes impeded their determined journey was when heavy rains made it impossible for the bus to climb the 7 percent grade of cratered road. 

 

Maybe it was this tough terrain that inspired the school mascot to be named the Wildcats.  Fortunately, the first time I met Justin in 2018, I didn't have to ride in a bus. 

 

On that day, nearly six years ago, my wife and I were bouncing like popcorn in the backseat of the SUV my daughter Sara drove the Honduran roads to the school. Behind us, and on the roof, we carried the second part of the 1,300 books provided from stateside donations.  

 

Three hours later, Sara parked inside the school compound and we walked to the faculty lounge hoping to recruit help to unload. 

 

Inside, we met Edmundo, a science teacher who was writing his lesson plans for the day. I remember how grateful he was to see us because Spanish books are rare and costly to purchase in-country. Most children grow up without a culture of reading in the home.  

 

"As a kid, reading bored me″ Edmundo told us. "We had only reference books and I'd fall asleep reading them. The books you brought will inspire our students to read."  

 

"Muchas Gracias," he added. "De nada" I said. Literally translated, "It's nothing," an informal expression for "You're welcome."  

 

In a few minutes, Edmundo helped me enlist Justin and a gaggle of seventh-graders to unload the books.

 

It took about twenty minutes for us to carry the boxed books into the library where we watched the kids tear open the packaging, nearly inhaling the titles. 

 

One girl quickly settled with a Harry Potter book, while another began devouring Moby Dick.  

 

I remember Justin so well because he focused on the Steven Covey's book, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens." 

 

Conversation with him was easy as he spoke excellent English he'd learned from being born in the U.S. His family returned to Honduras when he was 7. 

 

He asked me if the book would help him succeed. 

 

I allowed a "maybe," and he then turned to Frank McCourt's Pulitzer Prize-winning book, "Angela's Ashes." 

 

Justin asked me if McCourt's Pulitzer won him a lot of money.  It seemed a typical kid question, more so from those without money. While Southwest was a private school, money remains a concern for the middle-class parents who send their children.  

 

A few days later as we loaded up to leave, several children gathered to thank us. My eye moisture returned. 

 

All I can manage to say is, "De nada," because for all that's been given to me, it's nothing for me to do this for Justin and his classmates.  

 

And now, I ask the same "nothing" of you. 

 

If you join us on a volunteer trip, I think you'll find near no effort at all. If you can paint, organize books and negotiate a few stairs and uneven pavement, you're in. The flight is a few hours south from Houston, so we remain on Central Time. We've taken volunteers ages 3 - 83, because everyone has something to contribute!

 

Before boarding the plane home, the school faculty will present you with the typical "thank you" certificate and you will probably accept it with the customary "De nada." 

 

But we both know that the experience will be priceless!

 

----------------------------------------

 

Copan Mayan Heritage Experience, March 5-16, 2025 

Spanish Immersion at Lago Yojoa, April 6-13, 2025.

See details on our website www.chispaproject.org/volunteer

----------------------------------------------------------

Donate at www.chispaproject.org/chaplain or send check payable to "Chispa Project" 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602. Email me at comment@thechaplain.net Read more columns at www.thechaplain.net