Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Feb 28 weekend 2025 spirituality column

What is a "Regular Church?"

 

Some months back, I visited a new church led by an energetic leadership team. I was there to learn how our traditional church might find regenerative energy.

 

Afterwards, I asked what they liked about their church. I heard several good answers, but one woman intrigued me.

 

"The first time I walked into this church, I could tell I'd found a "wholesome place."

 

"Definitely a wholesome-looking bunch," I said.

 

"Yes," she added. "No one with piercings or tattoos."

 

"Probably there are a few tattoos somewhere," I said, hinting at my concealed tattoo.

 

"Yes, just regular people," she asserted.

 

Her need for a "regular church" sounded like what my 16-year-old grandson demands for a pizza. That's because his "regular" is cheese and pepperoni only.

 

"Wholesome and regular" isn't what this woman might have thought if she'd come with me to a Florida church where I spoke a year ago.

 

Becky and I were greeted by a tall member wearing a wholesome dress, with no observable tattoos.

 

She handed us a bulletin.

 

"Hello Norris! I'm Francis and I'm looking forward to hearing you speak."

 

Her deeper voice suggested a transgender woman, one my recent acquaintance would describe as not a "regular woman."

 

Immediately, I became aware of my dichotomy of discomfort.

 

My inclusive self was working overtime to assure me that my greeter was OK, but my evangelical rearing was screaming to be heard.

 

My traditional self was saying "This is highly irregular." Echoes of past arguments surfaced. "What restroom does she use? Is she allowed to work with children?"

 

But my rational-self reminded me that bathrooms have individual privacy stalls. And I hoped children could be so lucky to have such a caring soul.

 

Pushing discomfort aside, I looked into her eyes, level with my six-foot frame, shook her hand and thanked her for the bulletin. I was collecting the determination to make this a learning opportunity for myself. 

 

I wish I could tell you that I invited Francis for pizza to hear her story.

 

But I didn't.

 

However, last month, I emailed Francis's pastor seeking some background for this column. Before sharing, the pastor suggested we use the pseudonym, Francis.

"The church had always known Francis as Frank," began Pastor Annette's reply.

 

"But she came to me in 2016, pretty late in life, transitioning as a man dressed in women's clothing. She asked if the congregation would welcome her back into worship. She was very kind and respectful with her question.

 

"I told her I had no problem with welcoming her and that while I couldn't vouch for everyone in the congregation, it was my hope folks would be open, welcoming and kind. 

 

"It has not always been easy for her or for others. We have lost people because of our choice to not only welcome her, but to treat her as anyone else.

 

"Francis's presence and participation has definitely been part of our church journey to become more and more open and have an inclusive welcome for all.

 

"Is everyone comfortable with this inclusive welcome? Probably not yet."

 

You're right, Pastor Annette, I'm not always comfortable with fluid gender definitions. It's something I've not had the opportunity to understand in my learning process. But I say "amen" to your email conclusion, "We are all on a journey of sanctification and I'm grateful for God's grace in that process."

 

And to my readers, I admit truthfully, I'm still trying to work some things out as I consider the role of LBGTQ in the Christian community. I think many pastors are. So I'm hoping that Francis's story will advanced our understanding.

 

She reminds me that the early New Testament church was likely very irregular.

 

They were broken people who set the bar for acceptance and became the earliest example of how to do church. Or as I committed on our church sign, "This is a safe place to explore your faith."  

 

By the way, Annette, the next time I'm in town, let's have Francis over for pizza, if she'll have me. Order "regular" meat lover for me, with a side of humility and love.

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All of Norris's books can be ordered on Amazon. Autographed copies can be obtained on his website www.thechaplain.net or by sending a check for $20 for each book to 10566 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.