Thanksgiving weekend column
The Holiday Garbage Debacle
After this election season, I've heard more than one person suggest that our country is nearly trashed.
Well, I'm not usually one to talk trash, but I do have a trashy parable to tell.
The trashy tale is told every holiday season when our Waste Disposal company changes our pickup day.
Hysteria begins in our quiet lake neighborhood whenever we get the email informing us that our regular trash day will change to accommodate a holiday schedule.
I call it – The Holiday Garbage Debacle.
It begins Black Friday weekend when folks are too busy buying junk on sale to think about disposing of their junk.
But by New Year's our cans will be filled with the carcasses of turkeys and old dollies. No one will remember exactly what that email said because we deleted the message.
With so many forgetful people, we all follow that one cocky soul who is confident he remembers the temporary trash day. As he drags his cans curbside, doors creak for peeks, neighbors labor and phones buzz. More cans join the festive holiday parade.
Joggers and mommies pushing strollers spread the fear via cell phones urging spouses to make the last-minute push. That's when the dam breaks.
Throngs of people dash outside in their robes praying it's not too late. It's that whole herd-to-the-curb mentality.
I remember a few years ago, just after Thanksgiving Day, I woke up urging my wife to help me push the cans into the foggy dawn.
"Our cans are stuffed! Hurry or we'll miss the pickup," I warned in my repent-or-burn voice.
"I think we're still on the regular schedule."
"Then why are so many people putting their trash out?" I asked.
"One person did, so they all did," she said, yelling her social commentary as I rattled the cans to the street.
Determined to prove her wrong, I paused to listen for the monstrous garbage trucks. Other neighbors joined my acoustical surveillance team as they cocked their ears out second-story windows.
People ran across the street consulting neighbors — pulling out more cans — doors were opening and slamming in search of that truck.
Finally, when rumor found its saturation point, a hard-headed neighbor emerged brandishing the printed email she had dutifully posted on her refrigerator.
As she circulated her epistle, converts found the truth and returned their cans to the hidden place where respectable neighborhood CC&R's demand they be placed.
Still some who were unwilling to demonstrate sinful shame kept their cans curbside all the while muttering, "They'll be sorry when the truck comes!"
I don't mean to trivialize this political discord we find ourselves in, but lately I can't help but wonder if the new cycle has erupted with stories that inspire new levels of hysteric hyperbole.
These days, I'm trying to stick with facts as I know them because, just as in the case of the garbage can debacle, facts remain our best ally against fear.
As a country, we are bigger than the fear-based concerns generated over which bathroom one uses, what library book is removed from a shelf and where one is allowed to pray.
There are more solid things that need our focus, like immigration reform, a fair tax base, common-sense gun regulation, and issues too many to name here. These issues come with a slew of problems yet to be worked out.
So, before we start acting on our fear, I have to remember the Biblical promise that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Trusting in this promise and keeping a sound mind gets my vote every time – no matter when the trash always gets picked up.
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posted by Chaplain Norris @ 10:49 AM
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