My last two collumns

Norris Burkes: Would you elect 'Faith by Design'?
BY NORRIS BURKES • FLORIDA TODAY • October 3, 2010


Wouldn't it be great if we could elect our own deity and then pick and choose the accompanying rules to go with our new religion?

Take a moment with me and picture a fictitious fellow entering the voting booth to choose what parts of faith he will keep or discard. As he fills in his ballot, he says:

OK, first, let's see who the candidates are and then we'll get to the ballot measures.

Looks like the same old guys. Jehovah and Allah running against a slew of other candidates I can't pronounce.

Of course, I'm voting for the Christian deity again. After all, my parents and grandparents always have voted Christian.

OK. Who they got this year? Looks like the same ol', same ol': The Father, his boy and the Holy Spirit.

I like the Father. He's got a lot of experience and he's not a micromanager. I'm not sure about the son, though. After 2,000 years in the VP role, you'd think he'd be goin' for his old man's job. I'll give him one more term.

The Holy Spirit is a wholly (chuckle) different question. He's a meddler; kind of like Pinocchio's Jiminy Cricket. Toss the bum. I don't believe in big trilogies. I'd rather keep it a simple father/son operation. I'm going with the write-in this year, "Selfish guy."

That was easy. Now, let's take a look at the props and measures.

Hmm. Ten Commandments. I've always wondered what the "shall not" means in 7 and 9. I mean, what is adultery, really? Or who can say what a lie really is? Let's cut them down to eight this year. Maybe that'll save some tithe money on the enforcement end.

Oh, no. Don't tell me they're trying to outlaw gluttony again. No way. Stick to the ones against homosexuality and alcohol.

Now, here's one I like: "An eye for an eye." Yes. That's a keeper!

But what's this? Jesus is pushing the Matthew Proposal: "Don't hit back at all. If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. . . . No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously."

No. That's out too. Honestly, does God expect to be given carte blanche in my life?

Uh, oh, they're getting harder. "Do to others what you would have them do to you."

Hmmm. . . . That needs a softening revision for sure. Maybe, "Do unto others only if they do unto you." Yes, let's send this one back for a rewrite.

There, that'll do. Now I have my very own designer faith.

What? You say this is voter fraud? What do you mean I have chads hanging everywhere? I can't have my own religion? Then forget it.

Our little befuddled voter reminds me that the great principles of faith don't come to us as a true/false test. Neither do they come as multiple choice.

Faith is a full package deal that helps us relate to God, others and ourselves. Most of us would vote to keep the "ourselves" part, but given half the chance, we'd easily exclude the tougher parts about God and others. That means that at the end of the day, if you're going to choose faith, then I'd suggest taking the whole shooting match. We all have to choose our path and this election year I'll be sticking with Christianity. All of it: the commandments, the Bible, the church, and, yes, even the Holy Spirit guy.


Norris Burkes: Salvation found through teamwork
BY NORRIS BURKES • FLORIDA TODAY • September 26, 2010


Recently, I responded to that question with a story of my visit to a local pharmacy.

"You have some bruises on your arm," I told the young female clerk.

"Yes," she said, as nonchalantly as if she'd answered a question about a sale item.

I paused to allow silence to speak for me.

"Oh. It's OK. I'm fine," she said.

After a few hesitant steps toward the exit, I made a thoughtful turn in her direction.

"You know why I'm asking?" I said.

She shook her head with the hesitancy one makes when lying.

"Those bruises look like fingerprints. Is someone hurting you?" I asked flatly.

She returned a silent stare. "I'm fine," she said without answering my question.

"OK," I said, knowing I'd been dismissed.

On my drive home, I started one of those debates you see in cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and angel on the other.

"She said she was fine," said the devil. "Now wash your hands of it."

"She could be your daughter," said the angel. "You've got to rescue her."

You'd think a chaplain could easily dismiss the devil and obey the angel.

Well, not entirely. I've learned these debates aren't as black and white as we'd like to make them. Usually, the answer is somewhere in the middle.

It wasn't until I'd been home for an hour that it suddenly hit me.

Middle! That was it.

I'd left the woman no middle ground. I'd failed to give her a future option. She said "no," but I shouldn't have let her answer mean "never."

I returned to the pharmacy to have another talk with the girl. It was too late. Her shift was over and she'd gone home.

There's only one thing a chaplain can do when he reaches the end of his abilities: refer.

Without disclosing too much of my conversation, I referred my concerns and my contact information with the clerk's manager.

I'd learned two things that day.

Sometimes, you get to be the first responder and save a life. Those are good times. You get the feel-good fuzzies because you were the star hitter and you knocked one out of the park.

But most of the time, you have to be a team player and follow God's coaching. This means you have to recognize that you aren't the savior of the world who can solve all the problems.



While you're on God's team to hit the occasional home run, most of the time you're here to field the ball to a teammate who'll get credit for the play.

That day, I fielded the ball to the manager. If there's a play to make, she'll get to make it.

So when people ask me whether I'm still doing chaplain's work, I tell them that chaplain's work is caring for people. It's the same kind of work I hope we all do.

Just because I don't carry the title into a hospital anymore doesn't mean that I'm not responsible to God to care for people.

The Apostle Paul had much the same idea when he wrote the church in Corinth telling them that he and his teammate Apollos were "merely servants who helped you to have faith. It was the Lord who made it all happen. I planted the seeds, Apollos watered them, but God made them sprout and grow. What matters isn't those who planted or watered, but God who made the plants grow."

Burkes is a former civilian hospital chaplain and an Air National Guard chaplain. Write norris@thechaplain.net or visit thechaplain.net. You also can follow him on Twitter, username is "chaplain," or on Facebook at facebook.com/norrisburkes.