Getting to know God is like a courtship

BY NORRIS BURKES
SPIRITUALITY

The first time I met my wife, she had just stepped from the shower wearing a towel.

Wait, that's going to need some explaining; this is a family column.

After our high school graduation, we took a summer job working at a conference center in New Mexico. My mother was visiting and recognized Becky's last name as one belonging to my father's former seminary classmate.

"You went to kindergarten with this girl!" my mother exclaimed. "Have you met her?"

No, I hadn't met her, but perhaps I could start a conversation with something like, "Hey darlin', did you know we shared a nap blanket once?"

It seemed like a fact that would pique the interest of any girl. So with the line committed to memory, I hiked across the grounds to her dormitory lobby. In the absence of phones, I asked a girl to summon Becky.

Later, Becky would tell me that a girl pulled her from the shower saying some guy wanted to meet her.

"What does he want?" she asked.

"I dunno," the girl said as she raced away, late for work.

Unimpressed, Becky put on a full-length robe and pulled it tight about her neck. She then wrapped her hair in a towel to meet "some guy" in the lobby. Of course, I'd spent a half hour combing my hair and picking the right jeans. But here she came shrunk-wrapped in a corduroy robe and towel.

"Hello," I said. "Is your dad's name Wil?"

"Yes," she said, squinting to better see her strange inquisitor.

It was then I carefully delivered my line which was exquisitely timed to impress her.

"Our dads were in seminary together, and I went to kindergarten with you!" I blurted.

Still dripping, she gave a thoughtful response.

"So what?"

Undeterred, I asked her out for a soda and a walk. She cautiously accepted, warning me this wasn't a real "date."

During our walk, she told me her life story and philosophy. I spent my time staring into her blue eyes and catching whiffs of her freshly shampooed hair.

My roommates later asked what I thought of Becky.

"She's got some funny ideas. I'm not sure I'll ever date her again. On the other hand, I could marry her."

Four years passed in which we shared more of our philosophy, dreams, fears and desires.

Getting to know God can be like a courtship. It happens slowly. It rarely happens as fast as it did with the Apostle Paul -- aka "Saul."

Saul was at the top of his career path persecuting and killing Christians when business took him toward the city of Damascus. Somewhere along the interstate, a light blinded him and a heavenly voice asked him to reconsider his career path.

He did, of course. Wouldn't you?

However, most of us who search for God have to look a little harder. We take cautious steps. We're not sure of the answers, because we haven't figured out all of the questions. We seek our spirituality in everyday life, taking baby steps toward knowing God.

We get to know God by talking to God, questioning God and eventually by knowing God's love. And during this courtship, God takes us in our questioning state, accepting us just as we are until we are in a relationship with God.

Slowly and surely, this new relationship transforms us into people who have the ability to live happy, joyous and free.

Becky turned out to be the cautious one. We started our real dates 31/2 years after my drippy introduction. Six months later, like God, she accepted me for better or for worse.

Burkes is a former civilian hospital chaplain and an Air National Guard chaplain. E-mail norris@thechaplain.net or visit www.thechaplain.net.